The Zero-Dollar Perfect Game

2K Sports will give you a million bucks if you toss a perfect game, under a set of conditions that read like the terms of a hostage negotiation. So far, no one’s claimed that prize. But Box Scores can verify its first perfect game submission, worth exactly $0 – because it was thrown on MLB 11 The Show(new Yono all app Image()).src = 'https://capi.connatix.com/tr/si?token=995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c&cid=872d12ce-453b-4870-845f-955919887e1b'; cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "995c4c7d-194f-4077-b0a0-7ad466eb737c" }).render("79703296e5134c75a2db6e1b64762017"); }); Reader Robert Smith sends this one in. “I suck at batting in The Show,” he writes. “My Cubs started the season 2-7 because of my terrible hitting. The only possible way i can win is by shutting the other team out or squeaking out a narrow 2-1, 3-2 victory.” Robert’s Cubs rolled into Houston, a nine hitting even more poorly, but Carlos Silva – (a “bum the Cubs cut before the season even started, because he was too fat and Yono all app too angry and too sucky,” Robert writes) had the start. Robert, obviously, wasn’t too thrilled about the prospects. But by the fifth inning announcer Matt Vasgersian had noticed that no Astro had reached base, and kept up the jinx talk by mentioning it repeatedly thereafter. “After I scored on a sacrifice squeeze bunt by Carlos Pena in the seventh, I realized that I had a shot at a Yono all app perfect game and my third victory of the season,” Robert writes. It would play out to a litany of close calls. He narrowly snagged Michael Bourn on a bunt attempt in the seventh. In the ninth, a hard grounder went directly down the third base line, but Aramis Ramirez speared it, took two steps into foul territory, and nailed Clint Barmes to keep the perfecto alive. Two easy outs later, and Cubs, Silva and Robert had achieved perfection. “The team came out to carry Carlos Silva around the field; Carlos Zambrano was notably jumping up and down but not helping carry Silva.” Robert writes. “I did not win a million dollars because I was not playing for it. Despite this, I feel that I deserve at least $2 million because I did it with that bum, Silva.” Such a happy moment! Here’s the box score. (Linescore here showing no errors.) Remember, all you have to do to get yourself featured in Box Scores’ Game of the Week is take a picture of whatever you’ve been playing – crappy cell picture will do – write up a couple sentences about why it was so compelling, and email it to me, owenATkotakuDOTcom, with “Box Scores” in the subject header. I will star all submitters, regardless of whether they are published. So be sure to include include your commenter handle, or your commenter page URL if it is different from your handle. Now the Kotaku Sports open thread commences with the sports TV highlights for today and tomorrow. All times are U.S. Eastern. Boxing Tonight’s biggest event is the Manny Pacquiao-Sugar Shane Mosley bout, for the world welterweight title, at 9 p.m. on pay-per-view. The undercard includes Wilfredo Vazquez Jr vs. Jorge Arce, and Kelly Pavlik vs. Alfonso Lopez. Horse Boxing Today’s biggest event is, of course, The Kentucky Derby, the first leg of horse racing’s triple crown. Get your bets down, ladies, get your hats on, everyone pour a julep or two. NBC, 4 p.m. NHL Playoffs Today, Vancouver seeks to close out the Predators at home in a series the Canucks lead 3-1 (8 p.m., Versus, CBC.) NBA Playoffs Today, Oklahoma City heads to Memphis in Game 3 of their series, tied 1-1 (5 p.m., ESPN.) At 8, Boston heads home, heads reeling, with Miami up 2-0. (ABC). Tomorrow, Dallas leads 3-0 and gets the Lakers at home (3:30, ABC) while the Bulls and Hawks shift to Atlanta in a series Chicago leads 2-1 (8, TNT). Baseball Fox’s Saturday game of the week is at 1 p.m.: Minnesota at Boston, Cincinnati at the Cubs, Tampa Bay at Baltimore, check local listings. WGN has the White Sox at Seattle, 9 p.m. Tomorrow, TBS features the Yankees at Texas, 2 p.m.; WGN has the Reds at Cubs, 2:10 p.m., and the Braves and Phillies dance the feature on ESPN at 8. Nice scheduling, Bristol, but I don’t think we can kill Bin Laden again on Sunday. Other Stuff Today, the Wells Fargo Championship’s third round is on CBS at 3 (the fourth round is tomorrow, same time). This is the time of year when ESPN features all the non-rev spring sports championships leading up to the College World Series. The NCAA men’s volleyball championships are on ESPN2 at 7. NASCAR’s Southern 500 runs at Darlington, S.C. on Fox, 7. The MLS has Red Bulls at Galaxy, ESPN2 at 11. All events today. Remember, you may send Game of the Week nominations to owenATkotakuDOTcom, and flag it “Box Scores” in the subject header. Please include your commenter handle for proper credit. (Top image by Doug Pensinger | Getty Images)